We're not coming out
Last night we had to throw a bucket of water over the Major. He was about to combust.
"How dare they! How dare they!!! A coalition of losers? Two-faced Clegg doing a squalid deal with Mandelson. Listen, we in England voted for a Conservative government - no doubt about it*. But now we're getting yet another socialist government rammed down our throats by the Jocks. That Salmon bastard coming down here and selling his MPs - MPs he shouldn't even have, mark you - selling them to keep Labour in power. We end up giving even more to the Scots, the Welsh and the Irish, just so Labour can cling on. And with yet another unelected Marxist Prime Minister! Can you believe it!?!!"
"Well, Major," I began, "that's democracy..."
"Democracy!?? Democracy!!! Listen, this is no more democratic than Stalin. And at least he didn't pretend to be anything other than an autocratic genocidal maniac."
"Actually, Major, I think you'll find..."
"This will not stand! This will not stand!! All bets are off. We must fight. Fight! Fight! Bastards! Yellow bastards! Round them up!! String them up! Bastard yellow scum bastards! Bastards! Bastards!"
The one good thing about all this is that it's showing us with jaw-dropping clarity how PR and its never-ending coalitions would actually work in the real world. Minority parties would constantly extort all manner of expensive goodies from the rest of us. We'd all be held to ransom.
As we've already blogged, England has voted convincingly for a Tory government. Scotland, Wales and N Ireland do not want one. And let's face it, why would they? Given that they are all big beneficiaries of England's taxes. This election gives a huge boost to the campaign for an English Parliament, with English taxes for English people.
As for the Lib Dems, the sight of them pontificating about the national interest while at the same time secretly stitching up their grubby backroom deal with Mandy will have cost them awful lot of votes round our way. Vote yellow get red is a message that will resonate right across Southern England. They will pay a big price at the ballot box.
So why haven't the markets tanked?
Well, for one thing, the markets have been focused on the Greek problem, and their attention span is limited.
Second, they are still giving us the benefit of the doubt, based on the belief that unlike the PIGS, we've always managed to pull the fat out of the fire in the past.
And third, markets don't walk in straight lines. They operate instead on the following well-established principles:
"Dum-di-dum-di-dum... everything's fine.
Dum-di-dum-di-dum... everything's fine.
OH MY GOD! We've just noticed everything's NOT fine!
HELP! Where's the exit?! Let me out!"
Unfortunately, nobody knows when that moment of horrible realisation will come. All we know is that it hasn't come yet.
Perhaps it will come tonight. Perhaps it will come next week. Perhaps it will never come.
*Footnote In England the Tories got 40% of the votes and 55% of the seats.
PS Tyler's Polish patio-layer tells of an old Polish expression re changing governments - "same trough, new pigs".
PPS Just for future reference: