Little did she know...
[Many apologies - the initial version of this post omitted PM Heath altogether. Can't imagine how I left him out]
You can't help wondering what Her Majesty thinks of the arrogant dunderheads she's had to deal with since her Coronation in 1953. Since she came to the throne she's had 11 Prime Ministers, and almost without exception, they have all fallen short.
In her name, and without a shot being fired, they have surrendered large chunks of national sovereignty to a fascist superstate ruled over by the very people we'd spent the previous thousand years defending ourselves against. They have taken Britain into illegal wars bringing nothing but pain. They've watered down our criminal justice system and permitted a massive upsurge in lawlessness. They've dumbed down our education system, destroyed our work ethic, and undermined our cultural integrity. Her Majesty's great-great grandmother would have been seriously unamused.
But until now, she has at least been able to console herself with the thought that her subjects have benefited from an unprecedented rising tide of material prosperity. With one or two slight hiccups along the way, living standards have risen continuously throughout her reign. Overall, GDP per capita has trebled, an average annual growth rate of 2% pa. It has been an achievement without parallel in British history.
Moreover, every one of her Prime Ministers - every single one - has left average incomes higher than they found them.
Well, every Prime Minister until now, that is.
For the first time ever, Her Majesty has a Prime Minister who has presided over a fall in GDP per capita - and not a small fall either. Since the idiot Brown took over less than three years ago, per capita GDP has fallen by a catastrophic 5%.
Here's the complete Prime Ministerial record up to end-2009 (per capita GDP at basic prices; ONS data and BOM calcs):
Churchill (1953-55) +7%
Eden (1955-57) +2%
Macmillan (1957-63) +15%
Douglas-Home (1963-64) +4%
Wilson (1964-1970 and 1974-1976) +15%
Heath (1970-74) +12%
Callaghan (1976-1979) +7%
Thatcher (1979-1990) +26%
Major (1990-97) +13%
Blair (1997-2007) +27% (yes, on this measure, he beat Thatcher)
Brown (2007-2009) -5%
Please take a moment to absorb that list. Brown's record is miles worse that Callaghan's - despite all those Red Robbo strikes and the Winter of Discontent. And it's miles worse that Eden's - widely reckoned to be our worst post-WW2 PM.
Indeed, the damage suffered under Brown has been so extensive, average incomes have now fallen back to their level five years ago - the most dismal five years we've seen since the Coronation.
HM is no fool. She must be well aware what a complete dud Brown is. And just like the rest of us, she must watch the news, wondering HTF such an idiot can possibly be catching up in the polls.
But unlike the rest of us, she can't really leave if he gets back.
Instead, she'll have to sit there listening to another five years of his bullying lectures as her kingdom sinks into the abyss.
Off with his head!
PS The 1953 Coronation is Tyler's first memory. He watched it in a community hall alongside maybe a couple of hundred others. All staring at a 12 inch black and white telly. Kids today - they don't know they're born.