Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Beyond A Joke

Heading our way

Tyler was planning to go up the Smoke today, but another overnight snowfall seems to have ruled that out. The road is once again whited out, the council has run out of grit, and because of global warming taxes Tyler cannot afford to run a 4x4. So for the third time in 12 months, the Tylers are stuck. Cut off in commuter belt Surrey.

Meanwhile, up and down the impassable roads around Tyler Towers, the rubbish mountains are piling up. Because of the council's global warming collection cut-backs (residual rubbish now collected only fortnightly), our area has had no collection since before Xmas - just like many other areas right across Britain.

So the rotting piles of bin liners are back, and the foxes and rats have moved in. The Major has been valiantly potting them with Mr Gomulka's AK-47, but he reckons a marauding pack of Death-or-Glory garbage hogs are now heading our way, and we may not be able to hold out much longer.

Yes, we're in the twilight months of yet another catastrophic Labour government. Once again, our taxes have soared while public service delivery has slumped. Once again, vermin roam our streets (not to mention our enquiries into illegal wars). And once again, we face a jobless joyless decade of cut-backs and riots.

Last night Mrs T saw a TV programme about ex-pats living in Marbella. No snow, breath-taking views, and reportedly no tax. Apparently you buy a small flat in Gibraltar, declare tax-residency there, pay a nominal amount of tax, and then live up to 6 months pa in your villa in Marbella free of Spanish tax on your income. And I guess you could always spend another 3 tax-free months here cadging off the rellies.

If you're retired with a private pension and/or savings - as many people of Tyler's acquaintance are - the question is why would you stay here to be taxed and squeezed to buggery, when you could escape to the sun?

What's that? Because home's home, and Marbella is full of gangsters and the most ghastly tacky ex-pats imaginable, and your sterling denominated pension will soon be worth FA against the appreciating Euro?

Hmm... yes. You may have a point.

Better grit the old teeth then.

Which is more than Surrey County Council is managing with the road.

PS Apologies for no post yesterday - I'm taking a look at some PFI stats that I'll be blogging later.

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