Lowering the bar for our public services is one of this government's most corrosive legacies. From dumbed-down exams, to fiddled crime stats, to meaningless health metrics, Labour has systematically redefined and reduced the standard of what constitutes "success".
We've had another classic example today.
As everyone in the real world knows, pupil behaviour in many state secondary schools has become a major problem, especially in our big cities. Classroom teachers have been progressively robbed of their authority - and now even have to wear body armour in class - heads no longer have an unchallenged right to expel unruly pupils (see many previous posts, including here and here), and pupils who want to learn, can't, because they lose five weeks a year through the poor discipline of others.
But you'd never guess any of that from the official school discipline ratings. According to them, 97% of state schools have satisfactory to excellent discipline.
It's so ludicrous, and so at odds with everything we all know, it seems even the Commissars have finally realised it won't fly.
So they got Sir Alan Steer - a bearded, beknighted, onside head (see pic) - to produce YET ANOTHER TEEEEEEEDIOUS 200 PAGE REPORT (you can read it here, but I warn you, you might expire in the attempt).
And Sir Alan has concluded that a "satisfactory" score for discipline doesn't actually mean satisfactory in the sense that you or I would normally interpret the word.
It actually means pisspoor. In fact, it means that in the 25% of schools where discipline is rated as "satisfactory", things are so out of control that Commissar Balls has been forced to take draconian action. In a dramatic break from the past he vows:
A new leaflet! Well, that's it - job done.
"I will be launching a new leaflet for teachers to give them the information and backing they need."
Especially when you combine it with Beardie's plan to re-engage these teenage tearaways by swapping lessons for Bingo sessions.
I have to stop - I think I've just had another seizure.