Citizens! We face the Biggest Crisis The World Has Ever Seen! Everything we hold dear risks being swept away in a maelstrom of unbridled greed whipped up by fatcat bankers and perfidious foreigners!
Make no mistake - we are the innocent victims of an unholy conspiracy between bankers,
But my friends, be of stout heart. Divine Providence has smiled on us. Through all our trials, she has preserved Me to lead our great nation forward onto broad sunlit uplands of doing something and not doing nothing.
To spend and not to count the cost;
To intervene and not to heed the unintended consequences;
To bestride the world and not to ask for any reward;
Save that of knowing that you can fool some of the people all of the time, and they're the ones you want to concentrate on.
When it comes to New Year messages, yesterday's side by side comparison of Gordo's 2009 message and Adolf's 1941 version was rather chilling. Both were big on blaming foreigners, both stressed the need for action over inaction, and both banged on about building a fairer world. No really. Just like Gordo - or indeed, Dave - the Fuhrer explained his programme in terms of fighting for the "have-nots", and for "happiness" itself.
Of course, there was one major difference: whereas in January 1941 Adolf was speaking from a platform of stunning and virtually unmitigated success, in January 2009 Gordo... er... is not.
Let's just remind ourselves how Brown's economy is withstanding the global slump compared to our competitors. According to the Economist's latest summary:
- GDP - in 2009 Britain is expected to contract more than any other major economy: the most recent consensus forecast is for a 1.4% fall (cf US on -1%), and the front page lead in today's FT suggests we could now go down much more than that
- Inflation - our rate of 4.1% (CPI) is much higher than any other major economy (cf US on 1.1%): that intensifies the squeeze on our living standards, and is being exacerbated by the fall in sterling
- Debt - our fiscal deficit at 5.3% of GDP is already much higher than any other major economy (cf US on 3.2%): it is set to balloon over the next year as the slump progresses and Gordo's splurge kicks in
The picture is clear - the whole world faces the same global slump, but we are coping with it much worse than anyone else.
So what became of that economic miracle we heard so much about?
Over his first decade, Brown presided over a UK growth rate that exceeded to OECD average by 0.2% pa. But the excess was largely accounted for by immigration - GDP per head grew at roughly the same rate as the OECD average (see previous blogs). Despite all the spin, the miracle was a mirage.
What's more, according to Blair's latest little drip of poison , even the growth we did have was largely down to luck.
Ah yes, luck.
When the Fuhrer lost the plot in 1941 - taking direct control of the armed forces, invading Russia, declaring war on the United States, etc etc - at least his record up to then suggested luck/Providence was on his side.
But in 2009, Gordo can make no such claims.
There is no indication that his high spending, high taxing, high borrowing, micro-managing, tinkering policies have helped our economy one jot. On the contrary, there's plenty of evidence that the reverse is true.
So given all that, can anyone explain WTF anyone would believe yet more of the same is the way out of our current hole?