BOM reader Hans L highlights the latest study from the Department of the Bleedin' Obvious:
"Officers from 76 councils sampled 494 kebabs to test their nutritional value, during the Local Authority Coordinators of Regulatory Services (Lacors) study."
And guess what they found.
They found that doner kebabs are, like, really really unhealthy. According to their pathbreaking analysis, kebabs are full of fat and salt and unwashed sheeps' arseholes.
What we'd like to know is how much this rubbish cost us.
To start with, how many "officers" were involved? Kebabs being such dangerous things, we'd imagine each one of those 494 purchases would have required a specialist team of at least three fully trained comestibles outreach facilitators. Each of the 76 councils would have needed kebab campaign planners, project coordinators, media liason officers, saturated fat trauma counsellors, etc etc. And that's even before the cost of the lab work and the necessary overtime payments.
Hans reckons it will have cost in excess of a quarter mill. But that's only £3-4 grand per council. We reckon £1m is closer to the mark, which is some kebabbing.
But not nearly the kebbabing we taxpayers are suffering every day just so our headless chicken "government" can prove it's taking Action on the slump.
Today we got the car industry bail-out, which if the headlines are to be believed will cost us getting on for £2.5bn.
To be frank, I simply can't be bothered to delve into the spun-to-death-once-again-pre-announced-through-Peston details, but some immediate thoughts spring to mind:
- The cash mainly goes to shoring up Labour constituencies
- The package has had to be shaped to meet the needs of Brussels not Britain - HMG is having to guarantee £1.3bn of EIB loans, and is having to disguise whole chunks of the package as "retraining" and "green" subsidies in order to satisfy EC requirements
- WTF are we having to give further support an industry that is already being given a huge boost by the collapse in sterling - a collapse that will cost the rest of us a packet.
Now, to be fair, this may not be a kebabbing. It may be a kippering. But either way, it's yet another addition to the huge burden now being loaded onto taxpayers. A burden we are going to be carrying for years,
Anyway, BOM will now be off-air for a couple of days - Mrs T and I are going on a brief tour of Midlands kebab shops.