Monday, June 30, 2008

He's Sure Got A Lotta Gall

Latest NHS plan - Bob wrote it forty years ago

"A once in a generation opportunity."

Another one.

Yup, it's yet another guargantuan NHS report, this time featuring Lord D'Arcy, 2000 hand-picked clinicians, and the entire cast of Casualty.

There was a time when I somehow imagined these NHS reports meant something. You will hardly credit it, but I actually read the first Wanless Report, more or less cover to cover. Indeed, I later mentioned that feat to well-known journalist, thinking it would impress her, but she just backed away.

So rather than waste any more time reading this report, I thought it would be much more useful to sample it.

Randomly opening on say... page 8... left hand column... towards the bottom... "developing the visions".

Hmm, yes, developing the visions. What can that possibly mean?

Doctor, doctor, I think I'm developing the visions.

Well, pull yourself together then.

No wait - that's when you think you're a pair of curtains... hmm...

Doctor, doctor, I think Rockin' Al J's developing the visions. He's never been the same since he found Commissar Hewitt's stash of magic mushrooms hidden under the Big Desk.

Doctor, doctor, I think we could have saved a lot of time and money if we'd simply recycled some of those old visions. Sixties Al must be familiar with Visions of Johanna: infinity going up on trial, and all those jewels and binoculars hanging from the head of the mule, etc. On a straight choice between Dylan drug haze and a report calling for top-down bottom-up one-size-fits-all health localism, I know which I'd choose.

It's just like Bob said:

"He's sure got a lotta gall to be so useless and all
Muttering small talk at the wall while I'm in the hall."

1 comment:

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