Tuesday, April 29, 2008

OFT Swoops On UK's Biggest Monopoly


OFT - no more Mr Nice Guy

Spurred on by excellent headlines for its campaigns against big business, the Office of Fair Trading has today launched a hard-hitting enquiry into the UK's biggest and most notorious monopoly, the public sector.

Speaking to reporters as he prepared to impound Whitehall, Witchfinder General Zebadiah Zealot said:

"The public sector is rife with monopoly and anti-competitive practices. From schools, to healthcare, to law and order, it holds massive market shares - much higher than Tesco's 30% share of the grocery market. And they use their dominant market position to charge through the nose for sub-standard services, many of which would frankly disgrace a banana republic.

"What's more, over the years they have developed a highly exploitative charging system, known as "taxation". Incredibly, what that means is that unlike the high street banks or the big supermarkets, they can charge people whether or not they use the service!

Even worse, and shamefully, these egregious charges are levied most onerously on the very poorest members of society."

Pausing only to jut his noble chin out another inch, Zealot promised to nail the bosses of this evil racket:

"I promise to nail the bosses of this evil racket," he said. "It's time the public were protected."

We look forward to the court procedings, and the certain stake burnings.

PS Banks, supermarkets, pharma, food manufacturers... what is OFT head John Fingleton doing chasing after every headline he can get? No, what's he doing really?

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