Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Once again Tyler fears the Major is about to take the law into his own hands. Because the Major's just discovered the "Lying Scotch Git's" latest money making scam consists of charging retrospective tax on the good Major's own "essential means of transport". And he's just roared off in it, snarling about how he's "going to put thing's right once and for all".
As you will have heard by now, Brown lied to us about which cars are going to be whacked for his new driving supertax. Whereas he said no car registered before 23 March 2006 would have to pay the new punitive top rate of vehicle excise duty, that was totally untrue. The reality is that any car registered after March 2001 will have to pay up to £245 pa extra.
The Major's modest means of conveyance being a 2005 4.2 litre Jaguar XJ8, he's caught: he reckons his car tax will soon be £5 grand a year. And boy, when he pulled up on Tyler's drive just now, was he steaming.
"But Major," quoth Tyler through the driver's window, "Mr Brown is only doing this to save the planet. It's people like you, driving these monstrous leather club houses around the place, that have doomed us to a world of warm sunny summers."
The Major appeared to have another fit, white knuckling the hand-stitched steering wheel, and face contorted most horribly. "Lying... lying... liar... LIAR... LIAR... LIAR... Gaaahhh..."
Tyler offered a cup of tea and an ambulance, which was when the Major said he was "going to sort it", gunned the engine and was gone in a maelstrom of gravel.
If you think you may be mistaken for A Lying Scotch Git, our advice is to give him a wide berth.