Sunday, March 09, 2008

Teenage Pregnancy Implementation

The Major came round this morning, red and breathless, so excited I could barely understand what he was saying.

"A stamp! I need a stamp! Got to rush this off before some other blighter gets in!"

"What's up Major?"

"Nothing. Yet!" He gave me an extraordinarily unsavoury wink and leered suggestively. Surely he hadn't breakfasted on Mr Gomulka's Albanian cognac again; not after last time.

"I can't believe it" he panted. "Only £33 grand a year! A whole year! Beats winter in the Caribbean I can tell you!"

I stared at him, brow furrowed.

He rummaged in his calvary twills and thrust a torn newpaper cutting at me. "It's a fantastic new service being offered by Manchester Council- Teenage Pregnancy Implemention. God. Yes, I've been waiting for this... well, to be honest, at first it sounded a bit... well, you know... but it's Manchester Council, so it must be perfectly OK... some sort of equal opportunities programme shouldn't wonder... get some proper genes into the underclass pool, kind of idea... ours is not to reason why etc... "

Teenage Pregnancy Implementation. Manager, MANCHESTER CITY COUNCIL. £29,728 to £33,291 pa.

To coin a phrase, WTF are taxpayers doing implementing teenage pregnancies?

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