Shaky Live At Grange Hill

Booking now: Andy's tribute act

Our old friend "Shaky" is now Commissar for Kultur. And his first act has been to announce a weekly five hour ration of said kultur for every child in the land.

He's just been bickering with Mr Humphrys, and you had to laugh. His "plan" is so half baked even he doesn't seem to believe it. He doesn't know what it should include. He doesn't know how it will be resourced. He doesn't know how demotivated anti-skool kids can possibly be engaged in high opera.

So what's he doing really? Yes, it's more of the failed top-down rubbish that's ground our state schools into dust. Yes, it's more wishful thinking. And yes, it's more sickbag grandstanding.

But what's he doing really?

He gave himself away by going on about the huge benefits kids get from performing on a stage. And how much they can learn from visiting professionals.

We reckon he's lining up some work for when he's hoofed out in 2010. He'll do the summer season in Rhyll and then spend winters touring lunchtime canteen concerts at state education factories.

What a shame Grange Hill is closing.

PS We completely agree with Shaky about the benefits of performing on stage. Doing that at school hugely boosted Tyler's teenage confidence, and without exaggeration was a life changing experience. But that was down to an inspirational English teacher, not a Whitehall Commissar.