The Major has some excellent news.
For the last several months he's been increasingly depressed about the state of the nation, and keeps saying he's off to Oz. But tonight he came round a changed man. Well, transformed really. He was rolling his eyes, laughing wildly, and telling me everything was going to be alright.
He reckons the Archbishop of Canterbury has recommended the introduction of Major Law. Instead of people like us having to put up with Britain's hopeless dysfunctional criminal justice system, we can opt out and have our own law.
What a brilliant idea!
Every community should have the laws it wants rather than being bound by the nonsense served up by Wetminster.
The Major's toddled off now to draw up a list, but straight off the top of his head he's going for capital punishment, all prison sentences to be served in full, three strikes and you're out...
Wonder what Henry VIII would make of the Archbish and his ever more extraordinary meanderings?