20 London teenagers may have died in shootings and stabbings so far this year, but Sir Bonkers Bliar's Met has just cracked its biggest challenge since redesigning its logo. It's spending £15 grand of our money "creating "ethnically diverse" police mascots after one officer complained that the original white male model was alienating women and ethnic minority staff." PCSO Steve will be replaced by "four police figures including an Asian female community support officer called Sunita".
The PCSO Steve costume was created in 2005, based on real-life Sutton borough police community support officer Stephen King. "Paid for by a £1,000 sponsorship deal with a local plumbing firm, the character proved a huge hit at schools and other public events".
But in today's pc Met, there were complaints about his white face and blue eyes. There were allegations that an Asian officer was "not able to wear the short-sleeved outfit because his arms were darker skinned than the costume".
Hence the new range of diversity approved characters. Sir B says:
"These characters will be more representative of London's population and the diverse range of police personnel."
Compare and contrast to the comments of Wahab Mohammed, one of his own officers:
"Being a dark-skinned Asian myself, I think the so-called problem is pathetic. What happened to long-sleeved shirts? This is a very good initiative but you always have to have someone criticising the most minute things.
Honestly, I'm sure people could spend a bit more time trying to deal with matters that actually affect people. PCSO Steve is a good lad."
Thank God we've still got some real policemen like him. But for how much longer?
As you sit there grinding your teeth, remind yourself there's no way Londoners can get rid of Sir Ian. Court proceedings, votes of non confidence by our democratic representatives, none of it matters. Sir Ian is doing God's work, and cannot be derailed.
PS For a reminder of how Police Community Support Officers work, see previous blogs- eg here.
PPS Another senior policeman hasn't been so fortunate- smutty emails and "alleged financial irregularities" have forced resignation for Dyfed-Powys Chief Constable Terry Grange. Well, when we say "resignation", of course, we mean retirement on full pension. It wasn't like this in Chief Superintendent Lockhart's day