Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Commissariat Customer Service Department

Uncaged animal still loose

Latest news from the Customer is King Campaign:

1. Voting customers

Ron Gould, the international expert called in to investigate the Scottish voting fiasco, reckons the customers- ie the voters- were "treated as an afterthought":

"The Scotland Office and Scottish Executive frequently focused on partisan political interests, overlooking those of the voter and the operational realities of the election timetable."

There are demands for the head of Douglas Alexander, the child-star Scottish Secretary at the time. But in truth, his performance is par for the Commissariat course. Customers simply don't figure on their agenda.

2. Paying customers

Paying spectators at the 2012 Olympics are to be banned from using their cars to reach venues, and instead will be herded onto cattle wagon style transports, at up to 800,000 a day. The roads themselves will be needed for important guests of the Commissariat:

"For two months around the Games, one lane on several key routes in London will be reserved for 80,000 members of the “Olympic family”. These routes, dubbed “Zil lanes” after the routes reserved for the Soviet Politburo cavalcades in Moscow, are likely to be policed by dozens of cameras and a team of enforcement officers."

3. Defenceless customers

"A paranoid schizophrenic who punched a 96-year-old war veteran in the face, leaving him blind in one eye, walked free from court yesterday after a judge ruled that detaining him was not in the best interests of the public. Stephen Gordon, 44, was captured on CCTV launching a savage, unprovoked attack on defenceless Shah Chaudhury after they bumped into each other on a crowded tram in south London." (Telegraph- pic above)

4. F***ed customers

Sir Richard "We're all f***ed, I'm f***ed, you're f***ed, the whole department is f***ed. It's the biggest cock-up ever. We're all completely f***ed" Mottram will be retiring with the biggest pension pot ever awarded to a public servant: £2.7m.
"Public-sector pensions cost taxpayers about £18 billion a year. Each family pays the equivalent of 91p in tax for public-sector pensions for every £1 they put towards their own retirement plans."

5. Angry customers...
...should in the first instance join the TaxPayers' Alliance. Unlike all of the above, it's free.

No comments:

Post a Comment