Monday, February 12, 2007

Bread and Circuses

Holed up in the Cotswolds with a broadband connection that doesn’t work. But the Bread and Circus news demands comment:

2018 World Cup- scarcely believable but Gordo and Tess have decided that one dose of misery is not enough. With the Olympics well on track for £20bn, they’re trying to hustle the blazered buffoons at the FA into bidding for the 2018 circus as well. Finance expert Tess was out this morning assuring us that the spinning dials on the 2012 debacle were perfectly normal for this stage of the “planning” process. There was still immense public support for the whole thing.

Right. Well, personally, I don’t know anyone who supports it once they understand the financial consequences for them. £20bn is about £800 for every family in the land. Later this week, I’ll get the Bloke to interview some of the public about this so we can hear what the punters really think.

Plague turkeys- Millipede was on the sofa yesterday telling us that he hadn’t acted to stop the import of infected Hungarian giblets because he didn’t want to risk retaliation against our exports by our EU “partners”. Translation- he’d rather put the health of British consumers at risk than jeopardise the profits of poultry producers.

He kept banging on about how it wasn’t his fault- the Food Standards Agency were advising him and as everyone knows, “they are independent of government”.

Independent. So who pays the Food Standards Agency’s salary bill? Umm…would it by any chance be Defra, that old compromised, conflicted Britain’s most useless department?

Despite massive and expensive reshuffling of bureaucratic deckchairs, the safety of our bread remains in the hands of a department that principally represents producers.

Politics of Envy- the odious and orange Hain has popped out of his tanning salon again to complain about City bonuses. Divisive and frankly unacceptable.

Meanwhile back in the real world, the City continues to earn the daily bread for much of Britain. Fantastically, it’s now overhauling NY as the centre of global finance. That’s partly thanks to all those 24/7 galley slaves chained to the oars in Canary Wharf- the ones Hain’s so jealous of. But it’s also down to the onerous post-Enron regulations imposed on New York by politicos rather like the Orange One himself.

Flexitime- by any normal standards of decency, Beverly Hughes would have disappeared after the cockle pickers disgrace. But in modern politics of course, it doesn’t work like that. So this morning she’s back telling us how all employees should have greater rights to demand flexible working.

Yes, you can make a case for it, but purleeeese, don’t try to tell us it’s actually going to help the employing companies and make earning our daily bread easier. If that was the case, they’d be doing it already.

No, this is the usual NuLabour wibble that always tries to pretend crippling burdens are really benefits. And of course, flexitime is precisely the thinking that gave us the Two Sues.

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