"She cannae take much more of this Captain!"
There was a sickening lurch as another huge explosion ripped though the Olympiad's main accounting suite.
"Now I cannae even read the main discombobulator dials!!"
Ashen faced Captain Jowell clenched her teeth in a last ditch effort to hold back the rising vomit:
“The £1 billion we have identified is money coming from central government. However, we believe that most of the LDA budget is money they would have been spending on regeneration anyway.”
"Bollocks captain! Ah'm teelin' yew we have absolutely no idea what's happening! It could be £8bn... it could be £12bn... it could be anything! It's the dials you see... they're not actually connected up! They never have been!"
Jowell tightened her grip on the tattered 2012 Bid Document. "But that can't be! We have made a firm commitment that we will not spend more than £2.375bn... well, obviously we had to increase that to £3.3bn when we hit that Klingon reality accelerator... but I can give you a firm commitment today that..."
It was no good. The vomit spewed forth in a huge multicoloured arc and splattered across the central control console, shorting the main nincompoop trip and disengaging the impossibility drive.
Except, of course, it didn't. Despite the mounting hysteria on the flight deck, the impossibility drive remains firmly engaged. And we remain grimly on course for a Galactic bill of £20bn.