Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Disgusting Red Tape Worm Eats Itself!
According to this morning's reports, the Foulwater Parasite Tape Worm is about to perform a quite disgusting evolutionary first: it's going to insert itself up its own jacksie.
Yesterday it promised the CBI it will re-ingest 25% of its own official red tape... even though it's still furiously spinning tape out of that hideous mucoid deceptor gland in the middle of its head. It's literally proposing to eat itself through its own rectum! Not even the Greater Sceptic Slimewart does that.
It will make for horrifically compelling telly when it's shown on the next series of Planet Earth, especially since its bitten off much much more than it realises.
Because while PWC (at a cost to taxpayers of £20m) has somehow assured it that the business regulatory burden is "only" £15bn pa, researchers at the British Chambers of Commerce- using the government's own figures- calculate that it now stands at £50bn pa. Labour alone has increased it by £39bn pa since 1998.
Scientists believe the Worm- which appears to be only dimly aware of the real world- may literally explode as it makes the attempt. Should be great to watch, but you'll need oilskins and goggles.
Posted by Mike D at 9:27 am