Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Reforming Dinosaurs

Bad news gentlemen- the Ice Age is approaching and we all have brains the size of peas*

It could all have been so very different. If only the dinosaurs had thought to reform themselves into chimpanzees, they'd have been sorted. But of course they didn't and evolution just snuffed them out.

It's exactly the same with our lumbering nationalised public services. If only they turned themselves from politicised producer driven losers into customer focused world leading winners, everything would be tickety.

But as The Beloved Leader will be reminded when he addresses the TUC today, the dinosaurs are not for turning. Brothers Prentis, Crowe, and Serwotka are set to walk out (although it could be worse: the Fireman's leader, the improbably named Matt Wrack, says "Tony Blair will not get a warm welcome from FBU delegates"- so at least they're not going to torch him).

For choice, they want to go back- back to the Winter of Discontent (see this blog). NHS Logistics staff have already decided on striking over their privatisation (see this blog), and Gordo's 2% pay limit will soon have everybody out.

The reality is that reforming dinosaurs is a non-starter. There is no way to manage them better. Administered top-down "choice" solutions will not work.

The only real solution is to draw an evolutionary line. Dismembering dinosaurs is not easy: there's loads of bellowing and green gooey mess everywhere. But the bits are essential to provide nourishing meals for growing chimps.

*Apologies to Gary Larson- Google couldn't find the original

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