Thursday, June 29, 2006

Useless Appendages Pricelist

Deputy Prime Minister- £2m pa

The supersize DPM mega-set comprises: £133,997 salary, pensions contributions £35,911, allowances in 2004/5 of £105,494, £1.3m wage bill for 20-strong office, £195,00 pa grace-and-favour flat in London, official car £49,000, other travel £93,034, Whitehall office £64,267, rebranding the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister £12,000, and maintaining website £30,000pa; plus free lunches, snack attacks, and secretarial facilities to suit.

Lord Speaker of House of Lords- £0.5m pa

The brand new Lord Speaker package comprises: salary £102,685 pa, holders allowances £33,990 pa, black and gold Jedi robe £10,000, other diverse robes £700 each, private and personal secretaries c£60,000 pa, private office c£50,000 pa, kipping rights in the Lord Irvine Memorial Suite £150,000 pa, official car or gold carriage as required £50,000 pa; plus all the usual facilities with respect to free travel, family travel, mortgage subsidies etc etc.

PS For the discerning taxpayer, a complete catalogue of grace and favour properties is available here.

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